This was a February that broke my heart forever. If you read my post “A Grievous Loss and a New Life Journey,” you know why. My husband’s death deeply affected me and changed my all goals.
As things turned out, I worked on the manuscript fifteen days this month. If I Should Die’s revision draft saw five chapters completed. And I published six blog posts.
This is far below my goals for this month. And it’s more than okay. I’m pleased I got that much done under the circumstances.
There is little that I completed in the managing section. A friend helped me update my website when I couldn’t look at it. I listened to a few podcasts—thank goodness I took notes or I wouldn’t remember a word. And that’s okay, too.
Fortunately, I could continue Amazon marketing efforts. I had plans to do more, but it’s okay. The ads already running produced a few sales, which were a bright spot in an otherwise dreadful month.
The doctor’s and nurses at Advent Health Shawnee Mission Hospital were caring and professional. Every member of the Hospice team was extraordinarily compassionate.
A death causes a lot of paperwork and a lot of telephone calls. I didn’t know where to begin. The Hospice social worker shared a link to AARP’s “Checklist of What to Do When A Loved One Dies.” It has been immensely helpful.
In between tasks, emotional reactions surge and wane. So I’ve made a lot of phone calls, consolidated some things, and gotten some laundry done. And I’m calling that a win.
What I Learned
Lessons have been many and few at the same time. Weird, right?
My lessons have been many about life and death. But few about writing, marketing, or managing a writing career.
And I’ve learned how many warm and caring friends I have. Thank you one and all from the deepest part of me.
It won’t be business as usual for a long while. I’ve new personal tasks I must accomplish. And I’m adjusting to a new life role, a new life situation. It’s a lot.
So I’m not making goals for the month. I’ll make goals each night for the next day. They’ll be small goals. Goals I believe I can accomplish.
Finally, I’m going to focus on learning to ask for help when I need it. That will not be easy for me. Not only because I’ve been fiercely independent, but because I don’t know what I need. It’s something I’m going to have to learn after a February that broke my heart forever. And though my heart is broken, know that doesn’t mean _I_ am broken. I will travel this road of grief and I will continue writing. Because that’s what he would want. Because that is who I am.