This month we’re hoping all students going back to school will find adventure and magic like the students do in the following books. Try them. Maybe one of these will hook you. No guarantees. After all, the hookiness of the first lines is in the eye of the beholder.
As writers, we’re often told that the first line of a story must hook the reader (particularly if that reader is an editor.) Implied is that the editor will not buy the book if the first line isn’t great. But the editor is a single person with an opinion, often based on significant experience in selecting books. Still, it’s one opinion. The opinion that counts is that of the reader. So let me know what you think of these first lines from stories featuring back-to-school or starting school events.
“I’m here for my room assignment, please,” Jahir said.
The woman behind the registration desk, glanced at him and barely concealed her surprise. He suppose not many people stood tall enough to look over the desk at her. Either that, or it was because he was Eldridge.
“New or returning student?” She said, stumbling back onto her checklist. Her fingers swiped through the display hanging mid-air before her, gathering data like a mage out of a legend at work on a spell. He found it unlikely and mesmerizing, the alliances interface with its technology.
Mindtouch,
The Dreamhealers Book 1, by M.C.A. Hogarth
Prologue.
When I think of home, I see blue. The swirling blue of the seawater, the infinite blue of the sky, the brilliant blue of Mom’s gaze. Sometimes I question if her eyes were really that blue, or if the blue of House Cancer colors them in my memory. I guess I’ll never know, since I didn’t pack pictures of her when I moved to Elara, the largest moon in our constellation. All I brought was the necklace.
On my brother Stanton’s tenth birthday, dad took us nar-clamming on his Strider. Unlike our schooner, which was built to cover long distances, the Strider was small and shaped like a clamshell half, with rows of buoyancy benches, clam-cubbies for the nar-clams, a holographic navigational screen, and even a diving board that stuck out from the front like a tongue.
Zodiac
by Romina Russell
With the final gut-shaking, jolt and a hiss of steam, the train jerked to a stop. The exhausted, monster huffed its smoky breath, adding charcoal dust to the already murky fog that embraced Charing Cross Station. Miranda Winters grasped a brass pole with a glove hand to keep from being thrown as she stood in the aisle, waiting for her chance to detrain. Planting her feet wide, she used an arm to straighten the large brimmed, feathered hat perched on her head because her free hand clutched a beaded purse, parasol and satchel. Still seated nearby, a gentleman in a Derby, his collar points so sharp, they could draw blood from his neck, twitched his bushy mustache and harrumphed something about demmed females.”
“Little Witches” by Mel Lee Newman.
Fantastic Schools
Volume 1, various authors Collection of Short Stories
The chaplain’s office smelled like coffee and carpet cleaner, the same institutional air that lived in every government building Jackson had ever entered. He’d spent plenty of time in rooms like this. Foster care, offices, school, counselors, group home intake centers. The furniture changed, but the smell never did.
Chaplin Morrison sat across from him, a folder open on the desk between them. The man had kind eyes and a patient voice, a combination that made Jackson’s skin crawl. Kindness always came with conditions..
“How are you feeling today, Lance Corporal?”
Jackson didn’t answer. Through the window behind Morrison, marines crossed the quad in PT gear, their cadence calls drifting through the glass.
Two years ago, he’d been one of them. Running in information. Part of something bigger than himself. Now, he sat in this office while paperwork decided his future.”
Through the Gate
Atlantis University Book 1, by Michael Todd
“Why is everyone naked?”
It took me a second to register the comment. It took me another second to register the comment was from my father. It took me almost a full minute to respond.
“No one is naked. They’re just not wearing shirts.”
I was hoping he wouldn’t make a big deal about this. I didn’t want to be embarrassed before I’d even met these people.
I could hear my dad mutter something under his breath while my mom put a hand on his arm to soothe him. I hoped that would be enough prompting. If I had to pull out the fake tears, we were all going to be upset.
I was following my parents down the fifth floor corridor of Wharton Hall – my college dorm. As an incoming freshman, this was a nerve-racking, and exciting day for me.”
Awakening
Covenant College Book 1, by Amanda M. Lee
Cotton candy clung to the back of my throat, like sticky cobwebs as I prepared to perform the most dangerous jump of my life. The carnival lights, a swirl of reds, blues, and yellows, threw long, distorted shadows on the dusty ground of the arena.
Uni, my magnificent Arabian stallion and best friend, stood patiently beside me, her dark eyes reflecting the turning vortex in my stomach. From behind the gated fence, Uni and I peaked into the horse show field. Inside, mom and dad were checking that the special barricades and gigantic hoops for my show were firmly stacked in the ground.
Why does being thirteen years old have to be so hectic? Clean your room. Muck out the stable. Jump through fire. Be a big brother. Total stress city all the time.”
How To Build A Time Machine
How To Build A Time Machine: by Steven Novick
Clarification
There are no affiliate links in this post. I don’t make a cent off of the books listed on this page. Usually I pull these titles at random. They are from Amazon, my personal library, my area public library, or other online booksellers.
Reviews Don’t Have to be Difficult
No matter what book you’re reading, leave a a few words on the website where you bought it, a readers site, or the author’s site. You don’t have to say anything profound or fancy. Say the kind of thing you would tell a friend about it. Reviews are always appreciated by writer and readers alike. They help sell more books to the readers who will love them. And they help the author write more books.
Do You Want to Read More?
Do these first lines hook you? Do you want to read more? They are here for your enjoyment. And to entice you to buy more books. Let me know which ones sparked your interest.
Like this post? Check out previous First Lines posts.
Zodiac easily invited me into its world.
The opening of Fantastic Schools struck me as being overwritten and as a clumsy imitation of Harry Potter going off to hogwarts.
I was intrigued by the first lines of Awakening and went on with the Amazon sample until life intervened. That’s the book I would continue to read.
Excellent. I’m glad you found a couple that invited you as a reader, Anna. Yes, I have to agree about the overwritten lines. In fact, I found many books that happen in schools to show the heavy hand of the writer and a reliance on previously published work like Harry Potter. I’ve learned that while some things aren’t my cup of ideal reading material, it often appeals to someone else. So unless it trips my “this is too much” button, I include a variety. I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience.