To Not-Mothers and Not-Standard Mothers

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. It’s good to celebrate Mothers. Mothers do a lot that is often unpleasant, unrecognized, and unrewarded. And yet… Mother’s Day is woefully narrow-minded. There are many mothers that don’t fit the “mold.” There are foster mothers, step-mothers, males who mother, mentors, friends, sisters. And then there are the not-mothers. The single women who want to be a mother but aren’t, the single women who choose not to be a mother, the women who cannot carry a pregnancy to term, or those mothers whose children have died untimely deaths. To not-mothers and not-standard mothers, I offer some reminders.

A joyful woman silhouetted against a sunset is a salute to not-mothers and not-standard mothers.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou

Strong back.  Soft front. Wild heart. Just be you.

Brené Brown

“Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself. Never doubt who you are.” Stephanie Lahart

I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.

Emma Stone

“There is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” Virginia Woolf

The great courageous act that we must all do, is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams.

Oprah Winfrey

“Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think.” Unknown

Never bend your head.

Always hold it high.

Look the world straight in the face.  


“You have just one life to live. It is yours. Own it, claim it, live it, do the best you can with it.” Hillary Clinton

“Find out who you are and be that person.”

Ellen Degeneres

“Stop waiting to find the light at the end of the tunnel and be the light for yourself.” Unknown

“Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim.” 

Nora Ephron

So to not-mothers and not-standard mothers, treat yourself to something a little special today. Celebrate your not-mother or not-standard mother status. You are heroes and heroines in your own right. I see you.

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