Remember what I said about fun ways to treat stress? I hope one or two of these will make you chuckle and relieve your holiday stress.
Christmas is a baby shower
that went totally overboard.
– Andy Borowitz
♦♦♦
The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.””
– John Leo
For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!”
– Anne Bristow
♦♦♦
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
– Joan Rivers
♦♦♦
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
-Johnny Carson
♦♦♦
Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”
– Wendy Cope
♦♦♦
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.”
-Andy Borowitz
♦♦♦
One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales.”
-Grace Kriley
♦♦♦
I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.”
– Author Unknown
♦♦♦
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
– Jay Leno
♦♦♦
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
-Phyllis Diller
♦♦♦
Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?”
– Santa Claus in Home Alone
♦♦♦
If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.”
– Author Unknown
♦♦♦
Did any of these make you chuckle or groan? Do you know a great (funny or punny) line about Christmas. Please share in the comments. We can all treat our stress with laughter.
Great stress-buster! I got several good chuckles out of this post, just when I needed them. Thanks!
I am so sorry you’re having so much stress right now, but glad my little post helped. Hugs to you, dear friend.
I will try to remember to smile over the next few days! *I am not stressed, I am not stressed, I am not stressed* lol
You have a lot going on, Claire. I’m not surprised you’re…NOT stressed. 🙂 So keep smiling! And have a very blessed holiday!