Life After the Last Book: An Emotional Rollercoaster

Finishing a series is full of emotional reactions spanning from relief to grief and everything in between. There were definitely times I thought I couldn’t finish writing And When I Wake. Challenges in my personal life left me shifting moods faster than professional ice skaters can spin.

The Ups and Downs of Writing the Last Book

I bumped my head and my ego many times against plot problems I just couldn’t get right.

There were also days when I would re-read what I’d written the day before and be dumbfounded. I wrote that amazing scene? 

Perseverance is a writer’s friend. I stubbornly held onto that one throughout the two years it took me to finish my first draft and through each editing pass.

I finally finished that book. That’s when pride finally stirred inside me. I did it. I finished the third book, most likely the final book in the series. I’m proud that I finished the story in a way that felt real to me. (Hopefully, that means it feels real to the readers, too!) But I’m also kind of lost. I’ve lived with those characters for so long that it feels a little like I’ve moved away from familiar, if not dear, friends.

So lost at the moment that it’s been extremely difficult to write this post. Not that I’m out of words. I’ve got more than a thousand rambling thoughts written, but it’s as if I can’t find anything coherent to say.

Ideas Are Easy

Perhaps I could blog about the Real World locations in And When I Wake. I found many fascinating locations for the story. The city of Baltimore is one. Baltimore has a long history of diners where you could get a tasty meal cheap. And it has streets lined with row houses. Like the ones in the novel. 

Maybe I should blog about Baltimore’s covered streams. Annabelle leads her mother and sister through a tunnel with a stream running down it because I stumbled across a YouTube channel exploring a buried stream. Today they call the streams that once criss-crossed the Baltimore area, Ghost Rivers. City planners and developers covered them between the mid-1800s through the early 1900s because they thought those streams cut the city up too much.

Then again, I could blog about all the research I did into America’s most famous and infamous religious leaders or the politicians and political movements that inspired parts of this book, indeed—inspired the whole series. 

Yet, I’m still stuck.

Redirected Energy

To get unstuck, I need to recognize where I’m at and why. I may write about those things one day, but today the paragraphs I’ve written on those subjects feel dull. Not because they are boring but because other things have redirected my energy.

What Things?

The launch of And When I Wake is one thing. Delayed by temporary health issues, I’ve been scrambling trying to catch up. 

I’ve also had a promotion for My Soul to Keep going on. It’s gone very well. Distractingly well. In fact, it’s gone so well that as I write this, My Soul to Keep is a #1 bestselling dystopian science fiction and the #1 best-selling genetic engineering book on the Kindle Free Best Sellers lists.(Hurry and get your free copy before this sale ends!)

And finally, I’ve had a head cold since New Year’s Day. I’m much better now, but healing takes energy. Energy that’s low because I’m barely recovered from my accident in November.

So What Did this Writer Do?

Readers and friends often tell me they find the act of writing a novel to be mysterious to the point of filling them with awe. I appreciate that. I was a reader for many years before I began writing. 

There are several lessons I’ve learned as a writer. First, writers are human. Our emotions, our health, and all the challenges that come with trying to survive either supercharge or drain our energy. Like everyone else, we must learn to work with or around changes in our energy. In this case, I allowed myself to stray from my planned topic.

Another lesson is about learning. There is so much more to writing than stringing sentences together. Even more important is learning how your writer brains work. That takes time and self-observation. It is necessary to understand your process well enough that you can trust it. 

Trusting My Process

My process involves hitting a proverbial wall at some point. I get stuck. Then I get frustrated because I can’t seem to make the words come together. Eventually, I must walk away. Sometimes for days. Sometimes for minutes. 

This happened to me multiple times during the past two years. It happened to me today. Before I understood my process, I sat stubbornly at my desk and would type and delete for hours or even days. Now I know better.

Now I know that getting stuck means my brain needs something. Sometimes it’s rest. Often, a bit of new learning, some music, watching a movie, or a few minutes of moving my body is often all it takes to get me unstuck. I get up and walk away faster these days because I trust that this is part of my process. Repetition has taught me I will find the right words if I respect my process, give my brain what it needs.

What’s Next?

That’s a good question. I don’t know the answer. At least I don’t know what my next novel will be. It’s uncomfortable, but I’m trusting my process by allowing my brain time to adjust, perhaps even mourn the end of one writing project. 

In the meantime, I’m doodling with words, or noodling if you prefer. I play, writing paragraph after paragraph of what if’s and emotional rants or explorations. It’s how I bump different ideas together until my ideas lean in one direction. How do I know I’m leaning in a particular direction? For me, there’s a buildup of energy that feels something like the buildup of a static charge just before it zaps you. Shortly after that, it’s the hairs that stand on the back of my neck or the thrill that races down my arms. Kind of like what I’m feeling right now. 

Creators (not just authors) do you trust your process? How do you know when it’s working?