I Am Disappointed But I Am Not Discouraged

Last night I was on a quick run home from my husband’s hospital room and feeling discouraged. You leaped to the conclusion that my discouragement was about my husband’s health, didn’t you? You’re not 100% wrong. You’re not 100% right, either. Most of my thoughts were about how I wouldn’t make my self-imposed story deadlines. Almost immediately I realized two things: one I am being selfish and two I am disappointed but I am not discouraged. SELFISHNESS IS GOOD Before you try to defend my feelings rest assured that this was not self-recriminations but self-realization. To be a writer one must be selfish (at least part of the time.) Writers must guard their creative time. And my creative time had been taken from me by an important and urgent event. Before my retirement, I worked a day job full time, had a family, pets, and all the usual daily life commitments. After I put in the hours at the day job, everyone else’s needs came first. Writing got squeezed into the minutes between this and that. Since retirement? I have a writing habit where writing comes first. And on the days it doesn’t come first? I get cranky. I see that […]

When Mountainous Obstacles Look Like a Dead End

Are you searching for yourself? Is your life missing something? When mountainous obstacles look like a dead end, it seems as if every little thing you want or need is stamped with a big red CAN’T. You need a vacation but can’t afford it. You hate your job, but can’t quit because you have a mortgage to pay. You dreamed of being a dancer but can’t because you are too short. You want to travel the world, but can’t because you are afraid to fly. Or you just want a pair of glasses but can’t because you don’t have the money. You watch or read enviously about someone who has ‘made it.’ They achieved their dream. Why them and not you? You feel like a Martian. Someone who doesn’t fit in the hole that has become your life.  It’s not that you don’t love your family. Maybe you even like your job. But the bills take every damn penny. How’s a person supposed to get by, much less chase dreams? There are lots of reasons why you can’t do something. Maybe you had a bad childhood. Perhaps you married too soon, you need a new car, you aren’t smart enough, you […]