If I Should Die, a Sneak Peek at a Revision-in-Progress

A sneak peek is a portion of a story in progress. It’s an early draft which means there are grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and probably some story errors, too. So why post a sneak peek? It’s a tease of what’s coming. It’s a test—does this work? And it’s a peek into the writing process many readers enjoy. This snippet is from the revision draft and is part of a new chapter. So, without further ado, I present this sneak peek-revision draft, If I should Die, book two in the Fellowship Dystopia Series.

Image of a Monk class wooden yacht, the model for the boat in this sneak peek revision draft if I Should Die, book two of the Fellowship Series
a 58′ Monk class, luxury yacht–courtesy of YachtLife–a model similar to The Lady Angelfish

If I Should Die 

By Lynette M. Burrows

Day 2

The aroma of warm pancakes and syrup and the rumble of her stomach woke Miranda before her sleep shift had finished. She needed coffee, but the galley already held two people. David stood at the stove flipping pancakes. 

“Morning, Captain.” Wanda offered her a mug full of hot, black coffee. “Beryl’s piloting. David’s cooking. Mind if I go forward?”

Miranda took the mug. Lifted it and inhaled the fragrance of fresh coffee. “Go ahead.” Someone should get some extra sleep. She sat at the lower helm, sipped coffee, and watched the remaining fog roll off the river.

“Peace offering,” David said behind her.

She faced him. “You and I are not at war.”

He stood, braced in the hatch to the galley against the motion of the boat. Held a plate with a lopsided tower of pancakes.

Her smile broadened at the size of the stack. “That could feed an army.”

“Not after I get my serving.” His mouth twisted, rueful and hopeful at the same time. “Should I take some up to Beryl?”

“No, she’s already had breakfast and will eat again in a couple of hours when I relieve her..” Miranda peered down the passageway behind him. “Where’s Leslie?”

“Coming,” a lilting voice called. Typical landlubber, she lurched down the passageway toward the galley. Her strawberry blonde ponytail bounced behind her. And somehow the borrowed gingham dress fit better today.

Soon all three of them sat at the table and dug into breakfast.

When they’d had their fill, Miranda rose to take the dirty dishes to the galley.

“I’ll take care of those,” Leslie said and took the dishes. Duct tape made an extra seam down the back of her dress.

“I need to say something. Try not to get mad and just listen. Can you do that?” David asked once Leslie had slid the galley hatch door closed.

Miranda folded her arms on the tabletop, leaned forward. “Say what you must, but I won’t change my mind.”

“Even if you don’t believe that the Azrael are being grown again—think about what Leslie told us. There are Fellowship labs hidden in former mines hundreds of feet beneath the surface. That alone is cause for alarm. The Fellowship is up to something. If they’re not growing an army of assassins, maybe they’re making munitions, or a poisonous gas, or prisons for folk like us.”

“And that’s what you should focus on when you talk to Monkshood.”

He tilted his head, studied her.

The thrum of The Lady’s engines and the slap of water on her hull filled the silence between them.

“You still don’t see that you and Beryl should take precautions?” His voice held disbelief and a tinge of anger.

“They aren’t doing that just for Beryl and I.”

“No. They’re doing it for you and your refugees.”

The idea of an underground Redemption seized her in a tight, icy grip. She swallowed. Wiped her sweaty palms on her culottes. “All right. You’re right. Monkshood needs to know this. We’ll make sure you and Leslie get to that meeting.” She leaned forward. “But this doesn’t mean that my mission has changed. It means the Freedom Waterway is more important than ever.”

David set his mouth, then nodded. “Get us to Waverly. Maybe Monkshood will convince you that this means you have a new mission.”

She almost laughed. We’ll see who out stubborns who.

Want More?

Sneak peeks of the rough draft are available on this blog. See the first installment of chapters one through six.

Book One

Cover of My Soul to Keep shows a blue Fellowship shield in the background with a yellow and orange Washington monument atop that ending in the shield's point and in front of that is the silhouette of a young woman coming toward you.

Miranda lived a charmed life…until she broke the rules.

Now, she’ll fight the tyrants, even if they’re family. Even if it costs her freedom—or her life.

Available at all your favorite online retailers, My Soul to Keep, is book one in the Fellowship Dystopia Series.

Thank You for Reading

Revision is a process of refinement, expansion, and surgical excisions. As a result, chapters from the rough draft disappear or appear in different locations or from a different viewpoint. Kind of like putting a puzzle together, it’s a process I love. But I am not a fast writer. I hope to publish If I Should Die late spring or early summer of 2021. Did you enjoy this sneak peek-revision draft, If I Should Die, book two of the Fellowship Dystopia?


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