When I Give Up is the Best Choice

Never give up. Never surrender. Noble words. But don’t you wonder if sometimes it’s okay to be too tired, too overwhelmed, too done? It is more than okay. Sometimes crying, screaming, or saying I give up is the best choice for you. But persistence is the key to success, you argue. Yes, persistence plays a huge part in success. But, there times when the goal you’ve been working so hard to achieve is beyond your reach. It may be bad timing. There may be a crisis in your life that requires all your energy and time. Maybe the goal simply isn’t right for you any longer. Or, you may have made a wrong-for-you choice.  Have you heard of Survivorship Bias? It’s a psychological term that labels a blind spot we all have a cognitive bias. We overestimate our chances of success because we overlook or ignore the failures. We tell ourselves that if we focus on success, we will succeed.   I have met many entrepreneurs who have the passion and even the work ethic to succeed – but who are so obsessed with an idea that they don’t see its obvious flaws. Think about that. If you can’t even acknowledge […]

How to Care for Yourself during Difficult Times

Work, life, school, economic, social, political, and environmental disasters and stressors are everywhere these days. Today’s society bathes in stressful events every day. It’s enough to make you want to crawl in a hole and pull the dirt up over yourself. (See “Does the News Make you  Disheartened and Afraid“). But if you hide, you will never achieve your dreams. So what to do? Develop a personal ritual to care for yourself during difficult times.  What’s a Personal Ritual? The word ritual has a lot of baggage. According to Merriam Webster, the word ritual means: 1. of or relating to rites or a ritual: CEREMONIAL a ritual dance 2. according to religious law ritual purity 3. done in accordance with social custom or normal protocol ritual handshakes ritual background checks Merriam-Webster The personal ritual is a “normal protocol” or a routine. You have many already.  What’s the thing you do every day when you first get up? That’s a ritual. Perhaps you wear a “lucky” t-shirt to your favorite ball game or you cross your fingers before saying something. Those are also rituals.  Are Rituals Effective? Different rituals work for different reasons and the reasons may not be what you think. npr.org The ancient Egyptians’ ritual […]

The Best Way You Can Not Feel Helpless

Fred Rogers said, “Look for the helpers” (see last week’s post). But you can do more than that. You can be a helper. Being a helper, not expecting anything in return, is a mindset, a responsibility, and an expression of love. To paraphrase former President Barack Obama said the best way you can not feel helpless is to help others. To me, there are saints every day. They stand up and help others and live for others and do things for others. Theodore Melfi Your Mindset Service to others is a mindset. You don’t have to belong to a specific religion or even have a lot of money. All you need is the desire to help and the willingness to get up and do something. No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. Charles Dickens The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. Ralph Waldo Emerson Volunteer “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If […]