Don’t Underestimate the Pain

Sadly suicide is in the public discourse right now. The suicides of public personalities Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have shocked many. Don’t underestimate the pain. They probably didn’t want to die. What they probably wanted was to escape the pain they felt inside. Sadder still is that they aren’t the only ones who thought about or committed suicide recently. If one has never suffered from depression or suicidal thoughts, it can be an incomprehensible foreign concept. It’s easy to underestimate the pain. Depression so great that your life is not worth living is worse than a dark cloud, it’s a thick, suffocating blanket of anguish with no end in sight. WHAT MAY BE HURTFUL The phrase ‘it’s lying to you’ is going around right now as a way to reassure someone who’s depressed. It’s too simple. Depression is insidious. It’s full of shaming, denigrating, harmful self-talk that is often cloaked in the truth. A chronic illness can be so painful you’d do anything to stop the pain. An addiction can be so overwhelming that it destroys the choices, the life he or she wanted to live. Don’t underestimate the pain that person feels inside. Telling a depressed person that depression […]

10 Ways to Supercharge Your Self-Confidence

Has your confidence been ebbing lately? Feel like a failure? Is it possible to change no confidence to something better? Here are 10 ways to supercharge your self-confidence. Why have you no confidence? I’m betting it has to do with some fear you have. Fear you won’t “fit in”. Fear that you won’t measure up or that you’re a failure. Fear that no one will hear or see you. Okay. I get it. I have those fears, too. Have you ever heard the phrase “fake it ‘till you make it?” Yup. That’s what you gotta do. I know you’re not feeling it right now but walk through the steps. I’ll be you can fake it ‘till you make it. BASICS Get up out of bed, take a shower, and get dressed. Dress in an outfit that makes you feel like you look good. Dress as if you’re going to a power lunch. Pretend you’ve got the job of your dreams and you’re having lunch with your number one customer at the best restaurant in town even if, in reality, you’re having lunch by yourself at home. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you’re not schlepping around in your […]

Fall in Love with Taking Care of Yourself

I don’t know about you, but taking care of myself is one of those things I relegate to the bottom of my list thinking I’ll do it if I have time. Taking care of yourself isn’t a bottom of the list item. Yet, I think many of us don’t prioritize ourselves. There just seems to be too much to do. But it’s time to fall in love with taking care of yourself. WHY If you don’t take care of your physical self, you’ll have nothing to give to anyone else. There will be no energy to do your job, participate in things you enjoy, care for your loved ones, or care yourself. Taking care of yourself is the number one way to affirm that you are a person of value. If you value something, you take care of it. You cannot become who you want to be if you don’t work on it. Whether your skinny and you want more muscle or you’re alone and want more company, nothing will change until you act on your desire. Caring for yourself will help prevent stress and burn-out. Like the adage says “all work and no play…” HOW Get enough sleep. No […]