In this Month of Love–Love Yourself

I was in a dark place. My marriage had failed. The separation and divorce tattered my son’s self-esteem. My writing had stalled and I had horrible nightmares. I was the most worthless person I knew (second only to my ex). Self-love was selfish, or so I thought. I wish someone had told child me, “love yourself.” It took years of therapy and self-examination to learn that self-love isn’t selfish. I was lucky. I could afford therapy and by the luck of the draw, I found some good therapists. Back then I had one thing going for me, I was determined. Determined to be the best mom I could be for my son, I knew I had to work on me. The Struggle It was a terrible struggle. Feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing, mistrust, and shame filled me with negativity. I hid most of those feelings from the people around me. That good old Puritan work ethic flowed through me. I plowed through the work day, the housework, and the Monday through Friday life stuff. Every other weekend my son went to his father’s house and I crumpled into a tearful, self-loathing mess. I feared I was going crazy. My therapist made […]

Overwhelmed by all the horrible violence--natural and human? In a World of Peril, Create.

In a World of Peril, Create

I had intended to blog about Halloween quotes and traditions this week, but the recent tragedies in the U.S. changed my mind. People are hurting and grieving and scared. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate Halloween. It means that many people are overwhelmed at this horrid turn of events. I’m overwhelmed. But there’s a way to beat back the overwhelming emotions. In a world of peril, create. Create love, create art, create a pie (pumpkin anyone?), create hope. LOVE Love is evident everywhere in this time of grief and fear. It was in the police officers who got shot trying to stop the violence. It’s in the grieving loved ones feel. Shared sorrow is borne out of love of your fellow man. Vowing to support those who are being persecuted, hunted, and harmed—is a form of love. This doesn’t mean don’t be angry. Hate what happened. Hate the fear and abuse and hatred. But if you choose to hate a single person or group of persons you are no different than the people who killed or tried to kill people they hate. Hate begets hate. Take comfort in the outpouring of love. Give love. Love the helpers, the grieving, the […]

20 Reasons Why You Love Dystopian Novels

Dystopian novels are very popular these days. Have you thought about why they are so popular? Why do we choose to be entertained by dark worlds where it’s kill or be killed? I have pondered those questions. In my research, I didn’t go to the psychiatrists and academic sites to find out why. I went to the readers. 20 Reasons Why We Love Dystopian Novels They feel honest because we know politicians, military people, and corporate moguls are capable of doing awful things. Dictatorship, revolution, and counterrevolution usually cause severe physical and psychological damage to the victims and other participants.  We admire the best dystopian novels because they’re written well and depict people we can relate to. It fascinates us how some characters react bravely and some react cowardly or with resignation to the terrible situations they face. As readers, we rubberneck to see the misery; we can’t avert our eyes even as we’re enraged by what despots and other vicious officials are doing to citizens. We wonder if rebels and other members of the populace can somehow remake a wretched society into something more positive. The questions of who will survive and who won’t keep us reading.  We might […]